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Being likable is entirely under your control.
All it takes is the ability to pick up a few key social skills that build emotional intelligence.
To help you out, we sifted through the Quora thread “What are useful social skills that can be picked up quickly?,” talked to an etiquette expert, and looked to some social psychology researchers.
Here are 19 simple ways to start crafting a “million-dollar personality” and become the most likable person in the room:
Kathleen Elkins and Natalie Walters contribute to an earlier version of this article.
SEE ALSO: 12 signs you desperately need a vacation from work
Keep eye contact
As Heidi Grant Halvorson explains in her book “No One Understands You And What To Do About It,” the very first thing people will try to decide about you when they meet you is if they can trust you — and it’s fairly hard to like someone if you don’t trust them.
Their decision is made almost entirely unconsciously, and it usually comes down to how well you can balance conveying two things: warmth and competence.
“Above all else, really focus on what is being said to you — people need to feel that they have been heard, even when you can’t give them what they are asking for or can’t be of particular help,” Halvorson writes. One simple way to show you’re paying attention is to make eye contact and hold it.
“It is an idiotically simple thing, but it remains one of the most impactful life hacks around,” writes Quora user Brad Porter.
Halvorson says that making eye contact is also an effective way to convey competence, and studies have shown that those who do so are consistently judged as more intelligent.
Start this habit immediately, says Porter. It requires no practice or special skill — just the commitment to meet someone’s gaze and look them in the eye while conversing.
Smile
Don’t underestimate the power of smiling, another simple and effective way to convey warmth.
Additionally, laugh and tell jokes, recommends Quora user Craig Fraser. People unconsciously mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to. If you want to be likable, use positive body language and people will naturally return the favor.
Show enthusiasm
“Along with a smile, show some enthusiasm and energy, also known as charisma,” suggests Rosalinda Oropeza Randall, an etiquette and civility expert and the author of “Don’t Burp in the Boardroom.
“This not only draws people to you, but it is contagious,” she says. “After spending time with you, people will walk away with a warm and fuzzy feeling, which most likely, they’ll pass on to someone else.”
See the rest of the story at Business Insider
June 03, 2017 at 10:36PM
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from Rachel Gillett and Áine Cain
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