Serious Question: Who Drinks This Shit?

I was perusing the top ranked stocks in Exodus, and this motherfucker registered #1.

Fizz trash

I know this company from many years ago, when it was $10. They used to issue special dividends as a method to ingratiate insiders. It was one of those soda pop companies, like Jones Soda, that tried to be cool — but always ended up with the retard shelf space in stores.

According to the company, those days have ended.

This is from their latest cringeworthy press release, written by an obvious psychotic.

National Beverage Corp. does not possess a patent which, by the way, is the most

formidable moat, but has the closest audacious back-up moat . . . a cult-led, tech charged

millennial with ‘change’ power, an extremely passionate and proven

innovator, healthier mandatory incentives pushed by society plus a powerful

army of highly-competent professionals drinking the plan! Throw in the team

called Team National and that moat becomes . . . nuclear.

Ok, so what the fuck is going on here? Apparently, the country loves flavored carbonated soda pop, because we can’t just drink plain old water.

Sales of La Croix have taken off and with it the share price.

Health beverage for morons

Chartfags will continue to delude themselves and you by saying FIZZ merely broke out of a multi-century flag, totem poling up the ramparts towards Elysian. In the after life, technical analysts will pay for their sins. For now, let’s just show them that numbers, more specifically earnings, actually do matter.

Notice how the PE of FIZZ has barely moved over the past 3 years, while the stock price has gone up 435%? That’s because the share price moved in lock-step with reported earnings.

Hindsight is 20/20, I get that. Most of you are wondering, how do we find the next FIZZ?

Financial modeling, something I intend to explore and expand upon, vigorously, now and in the future.

Let’s review the fundamentals for FIZZ and then input that data into a strong screener and review the results.

PE: over 10 (ensure profitability)

QT earnings growth: 27%

QT revenue growth: 13%

Free cash flow: $59m

Gross margins: 38%

Now if we’re going to find a company on the come up, we need to reduce the threshold for free cash flow, since many high growth companies use it to reinvest into their business.

I built this screen inside the hallowed halls (members only, sorry).

I limited the market cap to a maximum of $10b, in order to find younger narratives.

Here are some of the names that caught my eye.

LITE, PEGA, FOXF, OLLI, TCX